Litha: It's been a loooong time

Wow, my last post was Samhain...yeesh, nearly six months! A lot has happened, I have finished gowns, started several new jobs, quit one, am quitting a second, and keeping the original, had a rubbish Yule and New Year, no Valentine's day to speak of, but as the days get warmer, I am feeling a bit better, and finally, the first holiday I've enjoyed in a year, MIDSUMMER! I finally made it to Stonehenge again, after several years. Apparently I'm all over the news lol. I blame the orange blanket I was wearing cloak-style, someone said it made me look important and Pagan. I said it made me feel warm, which was the reason I brought it. I had a lot of comments on my 'stick' (staff) and one fellow asked me what it did. I replied, 'it holds up my umbrella! And showed him how I'd tied to on to keep it above my head and out of other people's eyes. He looked so dissappointed that I almost wished I'd made up a great load of blarney about it having magickal powers and controlling the weather or something!

I met a lovely couple from Vancouver Canada, who had just had their civil ceremony and wanted a handfasting, and on the spur of the moment, I asked Arther Pendragon if he would mind doing their handfasting as well during the ceremony. The night before I'd had the sudden urge to go to Tesco's and buy some fresh flowers, orange and peach roses, carnations and daisies. I took them home and spent the better part of an hour fashioning them into a floral crown, which turned out to be too big for my tiny head, with ribbons that were too long. I took it anyways and tied it around my staff. When they said they wanted a handfasting, I suddenly knew why I'd made it, and they were handfasted with the ribbons and the bride wore the crown, which actually fit her perfectly! I felt so incredibly blessed to see them so happy! That made my day, more than anything else, absolutely magical! I hope they share some of the pics I took, if any of them came out, I'm hoping!

I also performed two not so serious handfastings, and one un-fasting, all with the same bride! Who, if she does not stay married to her current husband until July 21st (the legnth of their vow) owes me two large glasses of wine. Or the husband if he breaks it off... :-). Much less serious, but all in good fun! Here's a few pics from the day...first ones from Stonehenge itself, then later that day for the lovely Midsummer picnic I had with the family. We made our safe version of a bonfire (in an open BBQ) and had BBQ chicken with spices, and some yummy fresh veggies, the first harvest of the year! I also made a really spice cheese and bean thing that even I wasn't able to eat much of, but it was lovely. I will never again underestimate the power of fresh jalapenos.

I took some of the pics below off websites as I didn't bring my camera to Stonehenge!

Samhain decorations!!!

I'm almost finished, I just have to carve 2 little jack o lanterns and add them to the display......

On wishes, dreams, and magic manifesting in my life...

The other night, I was blessed with a beautiful moment...I was feeling a little forlorn, lying in bed alone staring out the window at the bright star that shines right in it on me. I had that song running through my head that goes ''Can we pretend that airplanes, In the night sky, Are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now''. And I gazed out the window, and suddenly, framed perfectly within my windowframe, a shooting star appeared, bright and streaking through the sky, dissapearing as they do. And I made my wish. A few days later, and it seems it has come true. I really need to get back in my habit of wishcraft, and of reconnecting to the natural world and the astral plane. I have had too many experiences that cannot be explained in normal terms (unless I have a habit of hallucinating, and certain things that can't be explained by hallucination never happened) to not believe in magick, the faery folk, and other forces and worlds beyond this one.

Too many times I have seen things that are not supposed to exist (whether or not I knew what they were at the time). I have heard voices telling me something that turned out to be incredibly helpful. On one occassion it was a very sharp warning that woke me up from my nap on our big swing and told me to GET INSIDE NOW. I thought it was my mother, and ran into the house to see what she wanted, shutting the door, and moments later two dogs ran into the yard fighting and snarling at each other and snarling at the glass door at me. My mother was oblivious in the kitchen on the phone, and hadn't called me.

On another occassion I was told to take a different street to get back to my hostel in California. The next morning I heard that a young woman had been attacked  a few minutes after I had changed streets, on the very street I had almost gone down. Other times I have had voices telling me a song, a phrase a word, something that seemed random, but was incredibly relevant to a problem or difficulty I was experiencing at the time, and often this saying led me to the solution or a 'eureka!' moment..

I have been tripped, not once, but twice, by something in the grass (I never found out what), and upon opening my eyes, a four leaved clover has been sitting directly in front of me. I gave one to my husband when he went to Afghanistan and it all but disentigrated (he must have really been using up the luck!), the other I quite stupidly glued to the top of my favourite wardrobe in my bedroom as a child, thinking I'd always have it with me. To this day I wish I had that wardrobe back, I loved it! I have several more given to be by my highschool boyfriend's mother, but the ones I found were the most special.

My high school boyfriend's mother was a very spiritual person, and was fond of the wee folk. One day as I sat helping to fold laundry, I saw to my complete shock the VERY distinct silhouette of a little winged person sitting on top of the stack of towels. It remained there for as long as I had my eyes open, even when I glanced away for a moment. When I blinked it was gone. To this day I am still shocked and if I hadn't seen it so clearly, I would have convinced myself by now that I'm completely nuts.

I have heard music that no one else seems to when asked, and on one walk in the woods I turned to see a red and white hound sitting on the path behind me watching me. I looked down the other way to see if there was anyone, like a person, and when I looked back a second later, the dog had vanished, and the trail and surrounding woods were too sparse for it to have run into without me seeing or hearing it. Later I read that in some culture red and white hounds, or white hounds, were the faery folk's dogs and I got the chills. It could have been a physical dog, or a faery one, I'll never know.

I have had incredibly lucid dreams, ones so difficult to tell apart from real life in which I met people and beings that taught me much of what I know, and shared wisdom and advice with me which I have carried with me (though not always acted on) to this day. As the years have passed by, and I have had some very traumatic experiences and many lessons learned the hard way, I drifted farther and farther from that good place, where I could go into my dreams and consult my helpers for advice. More days passed by without me hearing any hints, and with me ignoring all the tools at my disposal to help me as I became more focused on the immediate physical, and so disconnected from my true self that I probably wouldn't even notice if anyone tried to contact or help me and I forgot who I was, or what I even wanted. I started becoming the people I despised and pitied.

Slowly, I am reconnecting, reopening my mind, remembering to be thankful and respectful, listening to my intuition more, and being more honest with myself and others. I have grown up more, and at the same time done more stupid things in the last 6 years of my life than at any other time. I hope that I have learned my lessons, and that I can now begin to live the life I was meant to, and reconnect so that I am in that good place that I could escape to as a child. It comes right in time too, as my daughter is two, and becoming more and more aware of her world. She needs someone there who will lead her, and help her, give her spiritual and practical advice and steer her in the right direction, but be able to step back and let her pick her own path. As her mother, I should be that person, and I need to truly become myself if I am to do a good job.

My main problem is motivation. And sleep. I should go to sleep earlier, but the night is when I feel most alive, get most things done, and when it's quiet because my daughter is sleeping. So I usually do crafts and housework and read at this time. And the day, I am like a zombie, and cranky, and can't be bothered to do anything. Because of a rough adolescence, I was in a severe state of depression for many years, my life got more difficult, and now I have a lot more pain and horrible memories to weigh down on me, not to mention that habit that your brain forms when an action or thought is repeated  lot. I need to get motivation, keep motivation, and start forming new habits, ones which help me connect the the Otherworld, to my intuition, to the Earth, to that peaceful spot in my core so I can make descisions well, and learn and grow and thrive!

I have yet to figure out how to do this very well, but slowly, I'm working on it. Slowly.

Please sign this petition, and join us on Monday, Oct 11 in London!

For starters read the article here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1317490/Druids-official-religion-Stones-Praise-come.html

Then, regardless of religion, if you are shocked, offended or angry that such an untrue, rude, and biased attack was even allowed to go to print, you can sign the petition for an apology here: http://www.petitiononline.com/druid1/petition.html

If you would like to join us, we will be at the Daily Mail Offices in London at noon on Monday. So far, over 100 are confirmed to be attending on facebook alone, with further 100+ possibly attending. Please read all the info here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=165658720111461

NOTE: THIS IS TO BE A PEACEFUL EVENT!
Troublemakers be warned, the very loud, outspoken and eloquent organizers will be very quick to publicly shame anyone in true bardic style who comes and causes problems and gives us a bad name. NO VIOLENCE, hateful words etc. An it harm none. We are simply seeking to show that we exist, we are here, and we want the same respect as any other religion. Not to mention an apology.

Wands!

O-k, I have identified my woods. I have some very lovely hazel woods which along with elder and rowan, are reputed to be some of the best woods for wands, especially all purpose wands! I have enough to make 4, perhaps even 5 wands. I also have a hawthorn branch which is known to be a fairy tree, great for defense and protective magick and stregnthening, warding, concelment and weather magick. I finally have a rose branch which is great for protection, psychic power emotional healing, luck and divination.

So, for the Rose, my original idea still applies, however I found a lovely slender rose quartz to put on the point! As rose is also good for psychic power I have a lovely amethyst to use as a base stone.

My Hawthorn is looking to be a lovely wand.! I may decorate it with some red spirals painted on it reminiscent of it's vibrant coloured berries and add a rose quartz or clear quartz crystal to the point. I also have some lovely blue dyed agate I might put onto the tip...or as a base stone.....

For the Hazels, I have a few different sizes. I got a fairly thick branch which will make two nicely shaped wands, and I'm thinking of carving these and embedding a nice thick goldstone into the base. I also have a turquiose which would go nicely on one as well....

The quest for wand materials..

I have just been out traipsing around the forests with my daughter in search of suitable woods for wands, and, success! I have found several beautiful sticks. Some are unknown, one is rose, and I brought some leaves back from the trees they came from so I can identify them.
I have some plans in mind for these wands already, although they will certainly change as the wands seem to almost make themselves! Although I do make some of my wands with glue, I want to go as organic and natural as possible as that helps to make the wand more powerful.

The rose stick is very slender and delicate, so I don't know if it will hold a crystal well, but perhaps if I dye it a lovely red, fading to pink, and treat it with some of my very expensive rose otto oil, and Moroccan rose oil, that should be lovely. I may even carve a very faint delicate rose vine up it, and fill in the lines with gold. Perhaps I will add some ruby red satin ribbon to the handle.

I need to identify the other branches before I think of what to create with them...I think I may have accidentally cut a hawthorn branch, although I did leave an offering in return, Irish folklore says it is bad luck to cut a hawthorn as you may offend the fairies living in that tree. It is regarded as a tree that is a portal to the faerie realm. Seems I have some apologizing to do before I make that particular wand, although when made, it will be a very powerful conductor for fairy magick!

I may also have an alder, aspen, beech, box, or hazel, all the leaves look similar! Aw heck, I should just go get the dratted branches and take a peek lol. I also know where to find the most magickal of all trees, the rowan, and also possibly a sycamore tree (which I at first mistook for a strange maple tree, turns out they are in the same family!) and silver birch as well!

Practical Magic Wishing Love Spell

I was inspired last night after watching the film (Practical Magic) to whip up a little spell of my own. It comes at a time when my partner and I are going through some rough times and aren't sure if we'll make it much longer as even friends. As I was watching the film I connected most with Sally, first when she was little and said she never wanted to fall in love, then when she lost her husband. Although a lot of the relationship problems are due to some pretty stupid choices I made and me discovering things abot myself which I knew on some level, but was in denial about, a good part of it is that we are both slowly coming to the painful realization that we may be good friends, and have a lot of fun together, but marriage might have been a step to far as we are two very different people, with very different interests and lifestyles and there isn't a whole lot that we can do together. So my spell, like Sally's was born because of love, although the outcome desired is different. To me, spells are prayers or wishes, with props! Which to me, makes them that bit more fun! Love spells are tricky however, as you never, ever, should wish, pray or try to cast a spell to force someone's will, including in love. So love spells should always be neutral. Wishing for the best for both parties, even if the outcome is painful or not your first choice.

So last night, I went through my herb cupboard, and got roses for love, cinnamon for passion, basil for abundance, lavender for purity (and because it's my partner's favourite scent), damiana for attraction and sugar for sweetness. Upstairs I lit one central candle, representing our love and friendship, and two candles representing each of us from that main candle. Under the light of the full moon I then began my wish:

I wish for love between my partner and I (roses went on a burning charcoal disk in my cauldron)
Even though it may not be the passionate love of lovers (now cinnamon)
But simply friendly attraction (damiana)
Let it be for the best for both of us.
I wish for it to be pure (lavender)
I wish for it to be sweet, and to heal our old wounds (sugar)
I wish for it to be abundant (basil)

I wish too, that he and I will find love that is sensual (roses)
Love that excites (cinnamon)
Love in plenty (basil)
Love that is pure (lavender)
Love that is kind (sugar)
Love that is mutual (damiana)

Though it may not be with each other,
But with another,
And that we can work through the pain, heartache and failures,
And remain true friends.

(at this point on of the candles representing us accidentally went out and so I used that as part of the spell, saying, when one of us gives up, or our flame begins to die, let the other bring us back, and relit the candle with the second one of the pair)

I wish, for love.

As the herbs burned and glowed bright in the charcoal, I envisioned the glow of love, that spark we lost rekindling itself in both our hearts, in whatever form it will finally take and sent the smoke off into the night wind.

And, talk about instant results. I went back downstairs (after unsuccessfully trying to burn my nice pretty incense and accidentally burning candle wax...ick) and watched tv with my partner, and suddenly, on it's own, a conversation was started, and he mentioned that he didn't think it (the marriage) was going to work out between us. The night ended with some hugs, a few tears, and giggles, and neither of us have set anything in stone as to what our future will be, together or apart, although I am pretty sure about the outcome due to the lovely gift of foresight, which isn't always such a blessing when you have it :-) But that's life.

We still love each other.

And we're still friends.

Which is all I ever really wanted, so I am happy.